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If you are anything like me, about this time every year, you ask yourself the same question: where did the year go?

Even though this year has been extraordinarily challenging for some, and seemed to be going by verrryyyy slowly as we spent time huddled up at home, looking back, it may feel like we started hearing about this new disease just yesterday . .  .

Although many things have changed, there are some that haven't, including our habits and the way we tend to use our time.

Some of us get into a mad dash at the end of the year, trying to accomplish everything that we meant to do this year. Others are already thinking ahead to January and planning what goals they want to set for next year.

In order to start the next year off well, there is a very important step we can take right now.

Taking stock of this year as it ends.

Writing an end of year reflection is an excellent way to acknowledge your successes and wins and start considering where and how you might do better next year.

This...

In the glory days of the Roman Empire, when a general or a warrior would win a big victory, the crowd would cheer and celebrate his return from a successful battle.

During the celebrations, there would be an advisor sitting behind the general. That advisor had only one job and that was to whisper something into the general’s ear.

Can you guess what he would whisper? Would he congratulate the general and celebrate his success?

Nope.

His job was to whisper a variation on a couple themes—either saying "sic transit gloria" or "memento mori."

Sic transit gloria:  Latin for "all glory is fleeting."

Memento mori: Latin for "remember death" or "remember YOU will die".

1)    Let go of...

As Abraham Maslow says in Toward a Psychology of Being:

"The serious thing for each person to recognize vividly and poignantly, each for himself, is that every falling away from species-virtue, every crime against one’s own nature, every evil act, every one without exception records itself in our unconscious and makes us despise ourselves.

Karen Horney had a good word to describe this unconscious perceiving and remembering; she said it "registers." If we do something we are ashamed of, it "registers" to our discredit, and if we do something honest or fine or good, it "registers" to our credit. The net results ultimately are either one or the other—either we respect and accept ourselves or we despise ourselves and feel contemptible, worthless, and unlovable."

People of faith of course call this our conscience, our internal moral compass that guides us towards virtue: it makes us feel good when...

It is common for this exercise to bring up some sadness and regret specially if we notice a big difference between what we aspire to be and how we are actually living our lives.

Here’s the thing:

While we are still on this planet, we are in the zone of action, we can still take action to live up to our aspirations.

So here is part two of the Eulogy Exercise:

Step into the future reality of your own funeral. Imagine what you hope others will say about you.

Write down the qualities that are most important to you. Also write down what you wish that they would say. Write down how you would LIKE to be remembered. What virtues would you like your life to stand for?

Think of it as a To-Be List (as opposed to a To-Do list).

 Steven Covey in his seminal book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People suggests an exercise which can help us get some clarity on our eulogy virtues.

 Here is how I do this exercise:

 Imagine that you walk into a funeral. There’s a casket in the front of the room. You walk up to the casket to see who’s in it. You look inside.

 It’s YOU. It is you who is lying motionless in that casket.

 You realise that you are at your own funeral.

 Feel into that for a moment.

 Look around – who is there?

 What do the people who are present have to say about you? What qualities did they most admire and appreciate in you?

 Are you surprised? Delighted?

 Or Sad? Disappointed? Regretful?

That is the bad news.

The good news is that persevering towards ambitious projects is valuable for our growth, regardless of whether or not we achieve the specific goals.

I love how Ben Franklin puts it:

"Tho’ I never arrived at the perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell far short of it, yet I was, by the endeavour, a better and a happier man than I otherwise should have been if I had not attempted it."

This is the key: that we will be better and happier human beings for having attempted ambitious self-development goals whether or not we achieve our goals.