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What to Look for in a Psychotherapist: A Guide to Finding the Right Fit

counselling pschotherapy Aug 26, 2024

Making the decision to start therapy is an important first step in taking charge of your own emotional and mental health. When you begin “sort of thinking about” starting therapy, finding the right person can seem daunting, especially if it is your first time and you don’t know where to begin. Moreover today there are sooo many options available [which is a good thing AND it can lead to overwhelm]. It can feel uncomfortable or even scary to “bare your soul” to someone you don’t know.

So, how do you start looking and narrow your search to find the “right fit” for yourself?

In this blog post, we’ll explore key factors to consider when searching for a psychotherapist, ensuring you make an informed decision that aligns with your own needs at the present time.

Understanding Your Needs

Before you start searching for a therapist, it's essential to understand your own needs and goals. What are you hoping to achieve through therapy?...

Thank you and a change in direction for Daily... (DW#1000)

communication relationships Nov 30, 2021

Did you notice the DW number? Yes, alhamdullilah we have made it to 1,000 posts of Daily Wisdom!

For those of you who are newer to the DW family, we started this journey about four years ago with an ambitious goal of writing a short, inspirational post which was both backed by science and research and yet practical and easy to implement in our daily lives in small steps.

There have certainly been ups and downs along the way . . .the highs of getting a message from someone for whom it has been transformational …

And the lows of self-doubt, lack of inspiration, lack of motivation, exhaustion etc etc etc!

The only thing that has kept me going is YOU. Without you, there would be no Daily Wisdom.

And so, I am very grateful for your continued attention, support and gentle nudging on this journey and along the way. For all your messages telling me what it has meant to you and why I must keep going. For asking when it is starting again when I take...

Summary: The science and practice of flourishing (DW#999)

communication relationships Nov 29, 2021

For the last several weeks, we have alhamdullilah, covered a lot of ground in discussing human flourishing and (hopefully) taking small and consistent steps to up level our mental and emotional wellbeing.

Today, let us remind ourselves that it is taking action, even if tiny, that will get us results.

So, what have you implemented? How did it go? Please do share your successes and challenges with anything at all that you may have learnt from Daily Wisdom.

Here is a list of the posts so you can revisit them if you wish. The actual posts live on the blog here and you can search to find what you are looking for: https://www.marziahassan.org/blog.

(And do watch out for the next DW this week with a very important announcement!)

DW#956 The science and practice of flourishing
DW#957 What you must be
DW#958 You will not be the first (the first perfect human being)
DW#959 A foundation of virtue
DW#960 Our wellbeing matters
DW#961 What exactly...

3 ways to develop accomplishment (DW#998)

communication relationships Nov 24, 2021

Like many other concepts in positive psychology, we can learn to develop a sense of achievement and accomplishment.

Here are three simple ways:

Set yourself sub goals. Remember that larger goals can take longer to achieve and it is easy to lose motivation along the way. To sustain motivation, we need to set a series of smaller goals as markers and stepping stones towards our big goal.
Include values. When we hit roadblocks towards achievement there is one thing that keeps us going: reminding ourselves of why this matters. What is it in service of? So goals are more likely to be accomplished if they are linked to our values.
When you savour your accomplishments, which ones really stand out as powerful motivators? This can be an indication of strong values which can be harnessed in future to set meaningful goals, achieving which will greatly add to our wellbeing.
Adopt a growth mindset approach. It helps to remember that all mistakes are mis-takes – helping us learn what...

Intrinsic versus extrinsic goals (DW#997)

communication relationships Nov 23, 2021

While setting targets and achieving goals is an important part of the PERMA model of wellbeing, it is important to remember that achievement of some goals will add to wellbeing while others not so much.

Seligman’s research has confirmed that achieving intrinsic goals (such as personal growth and connection with others) leads to larger gains in wellbeing than external goals such as having more money or achieving fame.

Accomplishment also leads to an increased sense of wellbeing when it includes self-discipline, working and setting goals, striving and challenging yourself to persevere in the face of challenges.

In other words, even small victories that are hard won lead to a greater sense of accomplishment and wellbeing than easy successes.

Learning to enjoy achievement (DW#996)

communication relationships Nov 22, 2021

Last week, we started discussing how achievement and accomplishment fits within the definitions of the PERMA model and said that Accomplishment/Achievement is described as a way of reflecting on the attempts of doing something, and the degree in which it provides a positive sense of accomplishment or achievement.

Like meaning and purpose, experiencing a sense of accomplishment or achievement is very subjective and can mean different things to different people.

The good news is that with awareness and intention, we can learn to foster and savour a sense of accomplishment and add to our own wellbeing.

How?

Firstly by learning to acknowledge our goals and our sense of accomplishment, not to compare to others’ goals and accomplishments. This may be challenging for some of us who have the belief that we must always be hard on ourselves and that it is somehow arrogant to acknowledge that we have achieved something.

Here’s the thing: this is...

A is for achievement (DW#995)

communication relationships Nov 19, 2021

Now let us discuss the last element in the PERMA model, which is A for Accomplishment or Achievement.

Within the definitions of the PERMA model, Accomplishment/Achievement is described as a way of reflecting on the attempts of doing something, and the degree in which it provides a positive sense of accomplishment or achievement.

Human beings, it turns out, are teleological creatures.

The philosopher Aristotle was perhaps the first to link wellbeing with having goals, projects and targets. He explained that human beings are teleological (from Greek telos, "end," and logos, "reason")

And that we need to have goals and targets to achieve.

Modern scientists agree that happy and successful people have projects and are engaged in meaningful, specific, challenging yet doable goals.

What are your goals and projects at the moment? What are you working towards?

Making meaning from adversity (DW#994)

communication relationships Nov 18, 2021

The way we derive meaning from life through story telling is really important when we are going through challenging times.

We may have heard the term "PTSD" or post-traumatic stress disorder. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that develops in some people who have experienced or witnessed a shocking, scary, or dangerous event.

Of course, it is natural to feel afraid and overwhelmed during and after a traumatic situation. Fear triggers many split-second changes in the body to help defend against danger or to avoid it. This "fight-or-flight" response is a typical reaction meant to protect a person from harm. Nearly everyone will experience a range of reactions after trauma, yet most people recover from initial symptoms naturally. Those who continue to experience problems may be diagnosed with PTSD. People who have PTSD may feel stressed or frightened, even when they are not in danger.

It is important to remember that not...

Reinterpreting your narrative (DW#993)

communication relationships Nov 17, 2021

We said that human beings are natural storytellers and that we make meaning of our life events by constructing a narrative of our life experiences.

Creating a narrative from the events of our lives brings clarity and helps us understand how we became ourselves.

However, we may not realize that the process of storytelling involves interpreting facts and events and that we have the possibility of constructing empowering narratives in which we are the heroes that overcame challenges as opposed to disempowering narrative where we are the victims of circumstances.

In other words, we can edit, interpret, and retell our story, even though constrained by the facts, in a way that will help us rather than harm us. In a way that will empower us rather than disempower us.

To generate meaning through storytelling, reflect on an important and perhaps challenging event that has shaped who you are and the course of your life. How has this adversity helped you to come out the other...

The pillar of storytelling (DW#992)

communication relationships Nov 16, 2021

The fourth pillar of meaning according to Emily Esfahani Smith is that of storytelling – it is about the story you tell yourself about yourself and your life experiences.

Human beings are natural storytellers. We create stories from our own different life experiences. This is how we make sense of our experiences and the world itself. "Stories help us make sense of the world and our place in it", explains Smith, "and understand why things happen the way they do". And how we came to be who we are today.

Psychologist Dan McAdam has been studying the concept of life stories and meaning for over 30 years. He explains that a person’s "narrative identity", or the story that they create about themselves, is constructed by focusing on the most significant events that have taken place in their life and then interpreting them in numerous ways.

From his research, McAdam found that those who tell redemptive stories about their lives, that is...

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