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Whether a relationship is strong, fulfilling and healthy (or not) depends to a significant amount, on the quality of the daily interactions between the people who form the relationship.

What happens during these interactions and communication exchanges on a day to day basis determines the emotional climate of the relationship over time which in turn determines whether or not the people in the relationship feel connected and happy.

Having positive interactions and good communication does not mean that the relationship is free of conflict. Relationship experts agree that to have a relationship free of (apparent) conflict is neither desirable nor healthy. In fact, many would argue that the presence of conflict is an opportunity to grow as an individual and for the relationship to become more intimate as well.

The conflict, does of course, need to be handled skillfully in order for this to happen.

Let’s take a common example from family life to understand this better. The...

As we wrap up our discussion on telling the truth about lying, let’s look at some interesting facts and studies from experts about truth and lying

· Research by Kim Serota, a marketing professor at Oakland University suggests that at least in North America, the average person tells one to two lies a day. (People tell more lies in January than any other month. The average person tells 217 lies in January (about seven per day). His research also suggests that "prolific liars" tell a lot more lies than that – according to his study, 5% of people tell approximately half of all lies!

· Most lies are told to get ahead in the workplace, to avoid being criticised or rejected or to hide something from family members. The most benign reason that people lie is to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.

· Our culture condones dishonesty and because of this, our own truthfulness declines . "There’s something antisocial about being too honest," says David...

As we wrap up our discussion on mindful listening, let’s remind ourselves of the key messages on listening well.

Really listening to another requires our attention and putting aside our own agenda for the moment.

It is not about agreeing, disagreeing or giving advice. These may or may not be needed but the first step in any case is to understand the speaker.

Only after we have conveyed our understanding to the speaker, and they know that we "get" what they are trying to say will they be ready to listen to our point of view or advice.

True listening then, is not about techniques or demonstrating that we know the skills of "active listening". It is about the intention to pay attention to, and understand, the other person’s model of the world.

As we have been discussing, it is challenging to listen to understand, especially in close relationships.

So given all the challenges, how do you know if you have actually understood what your loved one is trying to tell you?

Here's how to check your understanding:

First, you need to repeat back what you have understood. This can be as simple as repeating the exact words they have said, or by paraphrasing their words.

And then checking in with them:

Did I get that right?
Is there more?
Is that what you mean?
Let me see if I have understood you . . .

While you are checking in with them, you do need to make sure that your tone of voice and your body language convey humility and the intention to understand.

You will know if you have understood if they tell you that you got it!

Or if they let out a sigh of relief

Or if they spontaneously hug you . . .

Yes, listening to understand is challenging and no, it does not come naturally.

And it gets much easier with practice.

The increased...