What is effective communication?
Communication is defined as "the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs." So communication is the process of sharing information, thoughts and feelings between people through speaking, writing or body language.
Effective communication takes place when the message received is the same as the message intended. To put it simply, effective communication between us happens when I say something to and you understand what I am trying to say and you "get it".
Simple enough, right?
It turns out that miscommunication is actually far more common than effective communication.
As George Bernard Shaw said, "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."
When you work in mediation, in the legal field or in counseling, you see that almost 80% of cases are a result of some form of misunderstanding and lack of effective communication. Dale Carnegie, author of "How to Make Friends and Influence People," said, "90 percent of all management problems are caused by miscommunication." People agree to do something. They sign papers and start a relationship or working on a project together. Eventually, it turns out that each party heard and understood something completely different. There was an illusion that they had communicated.
So miscommunication happens both in professional and personal relationships.
When was the last time you felt understood? Misunderstood? Which is more common in your own experience?
How about understanding others? Do the people around you feel understood? Do they ever complain that you "just don't get it?"
You can judge the quality of your communication by the quality of your relationships. If you are like most people, at least some of the time, you could be better at both understanding others and being understood by them.
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