Two kinds of truth (DW#291)
Last week we started the conversation about the foundational principle of mindful speech: speaking the truth.
There are two kinds of truth to aim for:
The objective truth: that is what happened or did not happen. This kind of truth is that which is objectively verifiable, quantifiable and measurable, and not influenced by emotions, opinions or personal feelings.
These are the kinds of things that plaintiffs and witnesses (and family members!) are cross-examined on:
Where were you?
Who were you with?
Who else was there?
How did the car get dented?
Who ate the last cookie? ;)
The other kind of truth is subjective truth: speaking about that which is based on our own internal experience, emotions or opinions.
Speaking the truth about what is true for us (with grace and compassion) is the doorway to intimacy as it invites another person to share our experience and internal world. It is about speaking what is in our hearts.
Some examples of invitations to share our objective truth are:
How do you feel about that?
What is stressing you?
What are you anxious about right now?
As we can imagine, speaking both objective and subjective truth is important, especially in relationships.
Speaking both kinds of truth is important for our relationships.
Speaking the objective truth builds trust while speaking our subjective truth builds intimacy and love.
Which is more challenging for you?
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