The art of complaining
Have you ever been told to stop complaining? Well, I don't think that we should stop complaining.
I believe that complaining is often a very good way to improve things. Effective complaining gives important feedback to people, it can result in better service from companies and employees and it can encourage people to change ineffective behaviour.
We do, however, need to complain in an effective way that is likely to bring about the change that we seek.
Here are the three essentials to an effective complaint:
1) Complain to the right person. Is the person you are complaining to in a position to make changes to what you are complaining about? If so, go ahead. They are the right person to complain to. This is the ONLY person that the complaint should be made to. Everything else is just whining and venting and tiresome to listen to!
2) Complain at the right time. We often make complaints and requests (demands!) for a change of behavior in the middle of a conflict situation. This not the best time to complain since people are usually triggered and upset. Better to wait until the 'complainer' and the 'complained to' are both calm and not reactive.
3) Complain in the right way. There is a difference between complaining and criticizing. A criticism is an attack on the other while a complaint is an acknowledgement of a need for change and a request to make that change.
Following these essentials will likely result in MUCH less complaining on our parts. It will also make it more likely that the complaints that we do make are listened to and acted upon.
Happy complaining!
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