Self protection(DW# 764)
May 28, 2020
Continuing with our exploration on why it is so challenging to apologize when we have hurt someone, today let’s talk about self protection.
As human beings, we are designed to protect ourselves and this includes protecting our sense of self, our ego from feeling badly. We are hard wired to defend ourselves from outside threats, as well as from thoughts and beliefs that lead to a threat to our sense of ourselves as good people.
This is why we do not like to admit that we are wrong. When we admit that we are wrong or have made a mistake, our conscience makes us feel remorse which is an uncomfortable feeling.
Of course, we need to remember that our conscience has been designed for precisely this purpose: to make us feel remorse when we fail to live up to our highest values. It is our moral compass. It is what helps us realign ourselves and our actions to our enlightened self-interest and live as humans in the full sense of the word. It is also what ensures that human beings care for each other as our wellbeing is tied to pursuing collective good rather than individual self interest.
Simply put, the inclination to protect ourselves from feeling badly is often at odds with our conscience which pricks us when we hurt someone.
When we end up going with self-protection, it may help us avoid feeling badly in the short term. However, our ultimate wellbeing lies in listening to the voice of our conscience and following its call. (By the way, this pull between short and long term wellbeing and happiness is true for many things – can you see how?)
It takes courage to listen to our conscience and to accept the uncomfortable feelings that show up as a result. And when we do push ourselves beyond the edges of our comfort, we experience growth, higher self esteem, connection, and improved wellbeing - all worthy ends, wouldn’t you agree?
Join our blog!
Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.