Resist the temptation to rescue
Resist the temptation to rescue
Salaams and Good Morning !
Here is your daily dose of Wisdom for Living Your Best Self!
Most of us are leaders in one or more spheres of our lives, whether we are parenting our children, managing teams at work or working with colleagues. In a leadership role, we may be approached to provide answers or solutions to various issues or problems. "How should I do this", we may be asked in various different ways.
If you are like most people, you want to help, to solve the problem or provide a solution that will make the other's life or work easier.
Some of us are extra keen to help. We have our solution hats on and are dishing out solutions freely and rampantly.
So eager are we that we may not even stop to consider that:
"Even though we don't really know what the issue is, we're quite sure we've got the answer they need."
This gem of a quote is from The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier. I am super excited to share the wisdom from this simple but brilliant book over the next few days.
The main thesis of the book is that in order to be effective leaders, we should be giving much less advice and asking many more questions. One of the reasons we need to move away from giving advice and ask questions instead (that is use the coaching method of leadership) is we don't always (often!!) know what's best, or have full information about the situation that requires a solution.
"When we're in Rescuer mode," writes Stanier, "we're constantly leaping in to solve problems, jumping in to offer advice, taking over responsibilities that others should rightfully keep for themselves. We do it with good intentions . . . [but there's] the price that's being paid by both sides. You're exhausted – and they're irritated."
Wow!
This book really helped me realize how often I try to rescue people and why instead of being thankful (!!) they are annoyed and do not follow the advice.
So over the next few days, let us explore the questions that Stanier suggests we use to become leaders who empower others to solve their own problems.
In the meantime, begin noticing how often you are ready to jump in with a solution before really understanding what is going on!
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