Refuse professional help when you need it (How to ruin a perfectly good relationship)
If you could have solved certain issues in your relationship, you would have done it by now. If your spouse is requesting (begging) for you or the two of you to seek professional help, it is likely because the both of you are stuck in an unhealthy relationship pattern which you have been unable to move beyond. Or you have gone through something that is tearing your relationship apart.
In order to destroy your relationship, Pat Love suggests that you say a version of the following to your spouse when they request you to accompany them to therapy:
"I know more about me than any therapist"
"Those guys are crazier than their patients"
"I don't need some jerk poking around in my private life"
"It's pouring money down the drain"
"You're the one who needs a shrink"
"I just don't believe in it"
Saying things like the above will ensure that your spouse feels not only frustrated and helpless but also loses hope in the future of your relationship together.
If you want to turn your relationship around on the other hand, try this instead:
· Recognize that you are in control – no one can mess with your head, put ideas in your mind or make you do anything that you do not want to do (otherwise your spouse would have succeeded in dragging you to therapy!)
· Recognize that even if you feel hopeless about your relationship right now, you owe it to yourself and your spouse to honour the investment that you have in your marriage and give it the best shot before calling it quits
· Recognize that asking for help and getting support is a sign of strength in an individual, not weakness. It takes courage to face up to challenges and to change things that are not working in your relationship
· Agree to try therapy and give it the best shot before deciding that it does not work. What is the worst that can happen?
· Know that while you can end your relationship at any time, singlehandedly, the time to work on it together may pass away soon if you keep resisting
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