Our survival depends upon our ability to communicate

The ability to communicate is related to the survival of the species itself.

Until quite recently, scientists used to think that man survived through the ages based on strength to brave the elements, search for food and build shelters.

But that view has since evolved.

Since the mid 90s brain studies have proven that it is not the strongest of the species that survived the longest but rather those who could best cooperate with one another in their search for food and building shelters. When ancient man communicated and cooperated with other homo sapiens and built families and tribes, all members had a greater chance of survival.

Although we may no longer be fighting for our survival as a species on a daily basis, we can still witness the life and death importance of communication for a newborn baby who learns very early that she has to get the attention of her parents if she is hungry or wet.

The need for contact and communication with the mother is not just for meeting physical needs. We now know that humans have a wired-in need for emotional contact and responsiveness from significant others. The driving force of the bond of security a baby seeks with its mother is an inbuilt survival response.

A great deal of evidence indicates that this need for secure attachment never disappears; it evolves into the adult need for a secure emotional bond with a partner. On the other hand, isolation—not just physical isolation but emotional isolation—is traumatizing for human beings. The human brain actually codes emotional isolation the same way it codes physical danger.

Communicating with others takes us out of our isolation. Much research shows that all our relationships are built from communication interactions, and that these interactions are built from individual back-and-forth exchanges. What happens in these exchanges adds up over time to shape a relationship and so communication is essential both for survival and also essential for humans to thrive.

Psychologists warn that the quality of these communication exchanges really matters. If these exchanges are mostly negative, stressful or unfulfilling, they wear down a relationship, causing stress and a whole range of other mental and physical health issues.

In short, our survival as a species and our thriving as individuals depends upon our ability to understand each other and make ourselves understood.

It IS a matter of life and death.