Listening is uncomfortable
Listening to somebody express their needs, their problems, their pain, their frustration or sadness is not easy and it is not fun. It touches your heart, makes you anxious and you want to make it all better.
As soon as possible.
And so you start offering solutions to make the other person feel better…
"Cheer up. Its not so bad."
"Look on the bright side"
"Be grateful. There are so many people who have it much worse"
"Be positive. Its all in your mind."
"Don't be sad (or angry, or upset, or frustrated or whatever). It will get better soon".
A question for you: how is that working out for you and for your relationship?
Does the person thank you for your wisdom, calms down, takes your advice and becomes cheerful?
No, I didn't think so.
Here's the thing: there is a time for listening and a time for offering support, guidance or advice.
And you generally have to do one before you can do the other.
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