Listen with LUV (DW#734)

family pandemic stress Apr 09, 2020

We have been talking about checking in with ourselves and sharing our emotional world with our loved ones.

Today let us look around and see how others in our family are coping.

If there are upsurges and down surges of moods around right now, please know that this is to be expected. If people are more short tempered or irritable, please cut them some slack.

Everyone in our family is also going through their own stress right now and there is no manual (yet!) on how families can cope through a global pandemic. I have no doubt that we will settle into a new normal and adjust to changing circumstances and it will take some time.

In the meantime, let us develop a habit of checking in with those around us as well.

Before we explore some ways to check in with those around us, let us remind ourselves that when they do share, to listen with LUV.

Here is what I mean:

• LISTEN with your ears, eyes and heart to understand their feelings beyond the words that they are speaking.

• UNDERSTAND: Reflect back content and feelings to show understanding. Please do not assume you know what they mean. When in doubt check your understanding by asking clarifying questions.

• VALIDATE by expressing empathy, even if you disagree. Listening to what they are saying does not mean that you agree with them – just that you care enough to allow them their own experience, even if it is different from yours.

Listening with LUV does NOT mean that you have to provide a solution. This is (very) challenging for some of us. We cannot stand to see our loved ones upset in any way and we often rush to offer a solution. And we are surprised that the person is more upset than thankful to us for our wise solutions :)

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Listen with LUV (DW#734)

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