How well do you listen?
Turns out that most of us think that we are better listeners than we are.
We may vocally interrupt while the other is speaking, change the conversation to something else, insert our own experience or say something to distract the other person.
And just because our tongues are silent while the other is speaking does not mean that we are actually listening, even though our ears may pick up the sounds emanating from the other person.
The vast majority of us are too busy in our own heads while we are in conversation with someone else. We might be formulating our response, making a witty comeback, poking holes in what the other person is saying, or telling our own counter-story to the story that the other person is telling.
In other words, we are having a conversation with ourselves in our heads while pretending to be listening to the other person.
That is why it is said that a "conversation is a vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener". As we said, we can be competing in this way, even if we are silent if we are talking to ourselves in our heads.
As a first step to practice listening mindfully, let us become aware of how poorly we listen.
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