Getting in touch with your values
Did you practice pausing over the weekend? How did it go?
One of the ways that we can make the pause effective is to remind ourselves of our deepest values often.
Recently I have become aware of my temptation to become critical in conversations with certain people. This is not serving me at all. It makes me feel bad about myself as it goes against my values of supporting family and choosing kindness in all circumstances.
So whenever I am in a situation that has a pattern of triggering me, I do two things:
1) Before the interaction, I remind myself of my values related to this person or situation. Values that are much bigger and more important than the petty things that are causing me to be critical.
2) I repeat the words "be kind, be kind, choose kindness" softly to myself throughout the interaction.
I am realizing that it is SO much easier to stop myself rather than deal with the consequences of my inappropriate reactions later!
Here are the steps to doing this process for yourself
Think of a common trigger that you are dealing with currently.
1) Ask yourself: what are my deepest positive values relating to the situation causing me to react?
2) What will make me feel good about myself later? How would I respond if I was being my best self?
3) Develop a mantra related to your value to repeat to yourself before and during the interaction. (Be nice, be kind, let go, practice peace, be generous, be cooperative)
We cannot always ask these questions in the middle of every interaction. The idea is that the more we ask them and remind ourselves of the mantra, the more they become part of how we interact with others.
It becomes the new pattern.
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