Change your intention
According to the vast majority of experts on communication, most of us listen only with the intention to reply.
We filter what is said so that we can focus on what we can challenge.
We are having our own little conversation in our heads, coming up with a suitable response that will prove our point. Instead of listening, we are "just preparing to speak."
We act like lawyers for the prosecution and the defense and focus on how we can decimate our opponent and the premise of their argument.
Oops . . . did I say decimate? Did I say opponent?
Is this a person that we care about? A person that we are in relationship with? Is that not why they are trying so desperately to get through to us?
How about we put aside the cross examination skills that we may have learnt from Harvey Spectera and Alicia Florrick on TV just for the moment?
And try listening to understand.
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