Beyond effective communication - Mindful Communication
Today let us expand our definition of effective communication.
The skills of effective communication, which include excellent use of language and grammar, saying what we mean and meaning what we say, are extremely valuable in a professional, public and sometimes personal context.
In personal relationships, however, the skills of effective communication may not be enough to connect authentically with others and to build relationships.
In personal relationships, I prefer to use the term Mindful Communication or Conscious Communication.
Mindful communication goes further than effective communication in building relationships.
Mindful communication is communication that is intentional, purposeful, conscious and compassionate. It is communication that comes from the heart and aims to reach the heart of another. To communicate mindfully means to have a "heart to heart" with another human being.
To communicate mindfully we focus on:
Self-empathy: a deep and compassionate awareness of our own inner experience. We are in touch with what is really going on inside.
Empathy: the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within the other person's frame of reference, i.e., the capacity to place ourselves in another's position. We are open to understanding what is really going on inside the other. We do our best to walk in their shoes.
Honest self-expression: expressing ourselves authentically in a way that is likely to connect to the heart of the other. We are able to express what is really going on for us without hiding behind self protection or blaming someone else.
Mindful listening: listening to the other without judgment, criticism or interruption, while being aware of our internal thoughts and reactions that may get in the way of understanding the other. We try our best to understand the other person from their frame of reference instead of from our judgments about them.
To communicate mindfully gives us the best chance of connecting to the heart and soul of others.
In the next few weeks, we will explore the skills that go with these attitudes and principles. If you finding the concepts a bit abstract, please hang in there and keep reading. They will become clearer and more practical as we progress inshallah.
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