Your mindset and your love life (DW#383)
One of the most profound applications of Dweck’s research on mindset has to do with its application to our closest relationships.
Dweck and her colleagues found that people’s mindsets greatly impacted how they dealt with their personal relationships.
Over the next few days let us look at key ways in which our mindset can help or hinder our family relationships.
Firstly, Dweck’s research implies that people with a fixed mindset tend to believe that there is one special ‘soul mate’ for them, a ready made person who will complete them, make them happy and provide them with everything they have ever longed for. According to Dweck, "In the fixed mindset, the ideal is instant, perfect, and perpetual compatibility. Like it was meant to be. Like riding off into the sunset. Like "they lived happily ever after."
People with a growth mindset on the other hand, are more likely to engage with someone who has a realistic perception of them, who may see their faults and will even point them out. Since people with growth mindsets believe that that they themselves, their partner and their relationship are all capable of growth and change, they are more likely to be comfortable with someone who challenges them and inspires them to become a better version of themselves.
In short, the key to love according to the fixed mindset is to find the ‘one’ whereas the key to love for the growth mindset is to work together to build a harmonious relationship.
Which mindset do you think is more realistic and compatible with happiness in long term relationships?
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