Why deal with negative thinking? (DW#487)
There is lots of evidence in psychology around how cognitive distortions correlate to symptoms of depression and anxiety. The renowned psychiatrist, researcher and best selling author David Burns goes one step further. He says:
"I suspect you will find that a great many of your negative feelings are in fact based on such thinking errors."
So negative emotions, including depression and anxiety, go hand in hand with distorted thinking. If we are frequently suffering from negative emotions, it would be very useful to look at our thinking patterns and see if we can recognize the link between particular thoughts and emotions and then work to change them.
When distorted thoughts show up in relationships, they have a huge potential to cause harm. Imagine your spouse suggests that you go out for dinner. If you have a habit of negatively interpreting their behaviour you might assume, for example, that they are suggesting dinner out because they don’t have to cook.
As you can imagine, just working on communication skills (which many people believe are the root cause of distress in relationships) will not be enough if the thoughts behind our communication are distorted. In other words, communication starts not with the tongue but in the heart and with thoughts. In order to build trust and intimacy in our relationships, it would be wise to recognize unhelpful patterns of thinking so that we can begin to address the cause behind so much relationship distress.
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