What do you regret? (DW#524)
When we are reviewing the past year and reflecting on our stumbles, feelings of regret can sometimes surface. We may begin thinking about how our life would be different or better "if only" we had done this or not done that.
The pain of regret can be intense and it is very tempting to want to distract ourselves, distance ourselves or push it away. Doing this too quickly can be a mistake.
Janet Landman from the University of Michigan explains that there are some benefits of staying with the discomfort of regret.
Firstly, there is information and instruction. Regret informs us that the course of action that we have taken in the past has not led to success.
Secondly, the pain of regret can act as a motivation for change. It tells us that the course of action has not made us happy and we need to do something different in order to get better results.
Thirdly, and related to the point above, regret can act as a moral compass. If we see negative outcomes for ourselves and others, it can prick our conscience, letting us know that we have not lived according to our values. If we correct things that cause us regret, we can live in integrity with our own values.
So let us not brush off regret too quickly. Let us take a moment to reflect on what the feeling of regret is trying to teach us.
And then take action in accordance with our learnings.
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