The anatomy of an emotional hijacking (DW#463)
Overreactions are often referred to as "flooding", "emotional hijackings" or "amygdala hijackings".
The term hijackings is appropriate as the rational or thinking mind (the neocortex) is basically hijacked or flooded when we are emotionally overwhelmed.
In order to prevent and deal with such flooding or hijacking, it can be very helpful to understand how our brain is designed to react to danger.
To put it extremely simply, when our brain senses imminent danger, a whole system gets into action and blasts adrenaline into our bodies to cope with the perceived danger at hand. The thinking parts of our brain shut down and we react instantly. When there is an actual danger, this automatic and immediate response saves our lives.
If we see what looks like a snake for example, it is much wiser to react instantly to protect ourselves rather than to look at the snake, consider the actual danger and plan a course of action.
In situations like these, the brain operates on a "better safe than sorry" mode. Better to think that a rope is a snake than to give what looks like a rope the "benefit of the doubt". Positive or optimistic thinking in situations like these can cost us our lives.
So it makes perfect sense that when we are encountering actual danger, we cannot not stop and think. When the amygdala sends an alarm signal, we need to react quickly to the danger and protect ourselves by fighting back, leaving the scene or playing dead (i.e. fight, flee or freeze).
And this is exactly what happens when we react to emotional triggers and perceived threats from our loved ones. When we are criticized or verbally attacked for example, we become flooded, unable to think or act rationally.
Our energies are geared towards one of three options: Should we run, fight or freeze/play dead?
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