Respond rather than react (DW#613)
Despite our best intentions, things can get heated when we are in the midst of a conflict. The other can say things in a way that triggers us and potentially make us lose our emotional balance.
This verse from Sura Fussilat advices us to not react when others fall short of respectful conduct.
Repel [evil] with what is best. [If you do so,] behold, he between whom and you was enmity, will be as though he were a sympathetic friend [Quran 41:34].
Scholars explain that the absence of a direct object after repel in the above verse means that the verse is open to many meanings and possibilities: we can repel anger with patience, error with truth, ignorance with clemency, and the commission of evil with pardon.
In other words, instead of reacting to people’s behavior out of anger, we can practice responding in a way that is aligned to our value system.
When we do this, it gives the other person a chance to calm down, it diffuses the tension and the aggression and allows the conversation to get back on track. A response of repelling evil with good can lead to reconciliation, love, and (re)connection.
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