Protect your marriage from the negative effects of conflict (DW#633)
Let’s be honest. No matter how many communication skills we learn and practice, it is rather challenging to actually use these skills when we are in the midst of conflict with our spouses.
When we are in the midst of an argument, we get triggered and often forget what we have learnt and practiced. We end up saying things which can hurt the other and end up damaging our relationship over time.
The good news is that practicing gratitude in our relationships can protect our relationships from the effects of conflict.
In a study by Allen Barton (which we shall look at again in a couple of days), he found that spouses who showed poor communication patterns during conflict but reported high levels of gratitude from their partner did not seem less committed to the marriage or more prone to divorce.
"As long as they still felt appreciated by their spouse," said Barton, "their levels of marital stability were similar as those couples with more positive communication patterns."
In other words, when we practice gratitude in our relationships when we are not in conflict, we are more likely to still have loving feelings towards our spouses even if we mess up during conflict.
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