I told you so (DW#430)
This phrase might just be in the running for the worst possible phrase or the least helpful thing that you can say if you want to build strong relationships.
While yesterday’s phrase "If I were you" is usually said beforedisaster happens, "I told you so" is generally used after the advice is not heeded and ‘disaster’ ensues.
"I told you so" can be said in many different ways, of course:
I told you so.
I knew this would happen.
I could see this one coming
I could’ve told you this was coming.
Can I tell you…I thought this might be the result?
I knew it!!
No surprise that this happened, is it?
The reason it is so damaging to relationships is because we use it when the person on the receiving end is likely already feeling pretty bad about something that happened. And saying I told you so is guaranteed to make them feel worse even though it might make us feel superior and smug by reminding them how much they need our wisdom and foresight!
So, the next time we find ourselves being right about something, let’s remind ourselves that we can either be right or we can be happy. Let us take a deep breath and choose empathy and kindness rather than a gloating smugness which can be soooo annoying!
Try saying this instead:
"Looks like things didn’t turn out the the way you had hoped. That sucks. I hate it when that happens."
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