I'm sorry (DW#445)
No matter what we know and how much we practice we are likely to mess up with our loved ones. Quite often. And this is why today’s phrase is so important.
Apologizing for causing hurt and pain to our loved ones is an essential skill in relationships.
There are so many wrong ways to apologize, as we have talked about before.
Here is what a good apology contains:
2. An acknowledgement of responsibility
3. A declaration of repentance
4. An offer of repair
5. A request for forgiveness
Here is an example:
I am so very sorry that I forgot that there was a family gathering at your cousin’s place. I should have put it on the calendar when you first told me about it. I will make sure to put the other family events on there so that this does not happen again. Would you like me to call him and explain what happened? And maybe we can drop in on them this weekend? Will you please forgive me?
A quick note on forgiveness: although you may ask for it, please do not expect forgiveness just because you have apologized. If this is an ongoing issue or a major breach of trust, it may take much more than a simple apology. The hurt person will likely want to see a sustained change in behavior before they can let go of the hurt.
A clean apology which does not seek to justify your behavior or blame the other person is a great first step in any case.
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