Gratitude shifts your focus from getting to giving (DW#636)
One of the great challenges of the modern mindset is that we are focused on what we believe we ‘deserve’. We are looking out for our own best interests and making sure that we are not taken advantage of. That we get what we think we are ‘owed’.
Now this kind of thinking may work in the stock market, but it doesn’t really work that well in a marriage.
In relationships, being aware of our rights and noticing how the other is falling short in delivering those rights is guaranteed to make us unhappy. Despite this, social media is always reminding us that we need to find someone who will love and appreciate us for who we are. That we ‘deserve’ this love.
The problem with this kind of thinking is that it puts someone else in charge of our happiness. Only when they deliver on our expectations can we be at peace.
The mindset of gratitude on the other hand, is relational. It shifts our focus from ourselves to one another. Gratitude invites us to abandon our focus on what we deserve from others and reminds us that the relationship itself is a blessing. The fact that we are not alone means that we can experience empathy, intimacy, and love.
Gratitude reorients our thinking from getting to noticing what is already being given. And to what we can give instead of what we can get.
And how does this bring us happiness? Because noticing what is being given and giving more, are both within our control. And when we bring attention to what we can control and act according to that, we naturally increase our own happiness.
Can you see how?
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