Did I get that right? (DW#443)
When we are in a conversation that is not going so well, a great way to turn it around is to switch into listening mode – listening to understand, that is, rather than listening to reply and make our point.
We can switch into listening mode by reflecting back to the other what you think they are saying. Repeat their message in your own words and check your understanding by asking:
Did I get that right?
What I hear you saying is . . .
If I understand you correctly, than what you are saying is . . .
So, let’s see if I got this . . .
I am not sure I understand. Do you mean. . .
These phrases are guaranteed to deepen our understanding of each other and when we use these, we always learn something new and deeper about our partner’s perspective.
We just need to remind ourselves that listening and reflecting back does not mean that we are agreeing or that we have to agree with the other perspective.
It simply means that we care enough about the other to try and understand where they are coming from.
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