Catastrophizing (DW#491)
Here’s why:
It is rather amusing to watch someone to predict a negative outcome for something and then jump to the conclusion that if that negative outcome did, in fact occur, it would be total catastrophe. When we are seeing someone else do this, we can see the faulty logic and the giant leaps of assumptions that the person is making.
Of course, it is not so humorous when we are ourselves engaging in catastrophizing!
Catastrophizing happens in three steps:
1) We worry about a situation
2) We predict that a negative outcome is certain
3) We then jump to the conclusion that if the negative outcome did in fact happen, it would be a catastrophe.
1) We worry because our child is not studying that much.
We jump to the conclusion that failing an exam would be a catastrophe. That if they fail an exam, they will never get into higher learning, never get a good job and their life would be a total disaster. (Hopefully, this is sounding familiar to some desi parents who have told their children they will be barbers because they are watching TV!)
Of course, at this time, your child is thinking about all the successful people they have read about who have failed exams! They do not see much evidence of a catastrophe that you see as a forgone conclusion.
Catastrophizing can also lead to self-fulfilling prophecies:
If the student buys your idea that failing one exam will mean the end of their academic aspirations, can you see how they would stop trying? And if they do stop trying, they will in fact, likely bring about the feared outcome!
2) You have a major argument with our spouse
You begin to prepare for this catastrophe by protecting yourself, putting aside money and looking for love in other places. You distance yourself emotionally from your partner. All of this leads them to eventually leave you.
3) Your boss chooses someone else over you for an important project.
You conclude that they don’t like you or consider you unfit for the job. Your future at this company is over. Your sacking is imminent, and no amount of hard work will make any difference to the outcome. Your life and dreamed of future is basically history. You will not be able to pay your mortgage, you will lose your house and have to live on the street.
You lose motivation for your job. In desperation, you start looking for other options during working hours and guess what? Your boss notices and lets you go.
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