Affair proofing your marriage (DW#369)
Apr 11, 2018
As we wrap up the discussion on infidelity, let’s do a quick review on how best to protect our relationships:
- Given how easy it is to become emotionally attached, we need to invest our attention wisely
- When we feed a friendship inappropriately, we are starving our marriage
- We need to become aware of the myths and realities around marital infidelity
- We need to recognize and evaluate the risk of infidelity and become intentional in setting boundaries in our marriage
- There are four kinds of marriage which are particularly susceptible to infidelity and we can take steps to avoid our relationships being
o Intimacy avoidant
o Conflict avoidant
o Too focused on children (or work, family etc.) at the expense of our spouses
o Sexually starved
- We need to understand the difference between privacy and secrecy to make sure that we not keeping secrets from our spouse which will lead to an erosion of trust
- We need to build walls around our relationship to protect it from outside influences
- We need physical boundaries when we are with members of the opposite sex and
- We also need emotional boundaries where we don’t share details of our emotional lives with others
- We also need technological boundaries when we are online and on social media
- We need to be particularly careful that we do not use our mobile phone to connect inappropriately with members of the opposite sex
- Having walls around the marriage is not enough and we need to open windows of communication and intimacy with our spouses
- We need to keep the walls and windows in our relationship in their proper place and in good repair in order to protect the structure of marriage
- We can keep the windows of communication clean by keeping updated about our partner’s inner world, their hopes, fears and dreams
- We can fall in love with the same person again and again by maintaining friendship and getting to know them all over again
Which of these are most challenging for you to practice?
Can you think of one or two baby steps that you can take to start affair-proofing your marriage?
What are you committing to changing to strengthen your relationship?
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