Act in loving way to feel the feeling of Love (DW#477)
Even if we care deeply about our spouses, it does not mean that we will always feel positively towards them. It is quite normal to have negative feelings like irritation, anger, hurt and doubt from time to time. The problem lies not in these feelings but in the fact that we may take it to mean that we have "fallen out of love" with this person. When we start thinking like this, we stop doing loving actions and our relationship gets stuck in a downward spiral.
Because feelings change over time, going up and down from time to time, feelings by themselves are NOT a good indicator of relationship health at any given time.
What if we start thinking of the absence of loving feelings as a sign that we need to start doing more loving actions? That we need to act in a loving way, based on what we value about the relationship or according to values that we share with our spouses?
At the very minimum, this means that we need to start paying attention to the (many) things that our spouses are doing which are pleasing to us as opposed to the (few) things that they may be doing which are annoying or upsetting.
Join our blog!
Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.